Have you ever felt crushed upon?

Everyone praised your artistic talents. They knew you would get the highest in art. They trusted you.
Then SHE came along and crushed upon you. She got the highest. You failed. Who won?

Everyone praised your singing. They kept wanting to hear more. They liked you.
Then SHE came along and crushed upon you. She sang melodious. Everyone wanted even more. Who won?

Everyone praised your natural beauty. Everyone praised about you.
Then SHE came alone and crushed upon you. She was more beautiful and kind. Everyone liked her. Who won?
---------------------------------
I will become skinnier for you.
I can't become shorter...or cuter for you.
I can't be prettier for you.

But I swear. At least I'll be smaller. At least I can become skinnier.
I swear. I'll change my character. I won't be so immature and stupid anymore. I'll become more mature for you. I'll change my ways.
I swear. I won't depend on you so much. I'll let you have space, freedom to talk with other girls. I won't care for it anymore.

Please. Don't leave me...

I'm already being crushed upon. I'm being defeated everywhere I go. I'm paralyzed. I'm numb. All with pain from just my heart.

I'm sorry I can't be as beautiful as her.

I'm sorry I can't sound as nice as her.

I'm sorry I can't be as horny as her.

I'm sorry I can't be as happy as her.

I'm sorry I can't be as smart as her.

I'm sorry I'm no good.

I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

I existed. I hurt. I damaged. Yet I still live. Why? Why did you choose me and not her...? I don't know why...lust or love...restraints or pity... Haha...

I'll stop my breaths for you. I'll stop my blood for you. I'll stop my soul for you. I'm willing.

So that's why. I can become skinnier... I'll spend lesser money. Then I won't complain about being fat anymore.

She can't grow slim. Hah. At least I can. I can make it. You'll look at only me. You'll love only me.

It itches. The old wounds.

~Rinko